How to be happy

Hmmmm, if only I knew the answer to this one!  It’s got to be the most important question there is, hasn’t it?  After all, what’s the point of life if you’re not happy?  I expect there probably is a point but I have to admit it escapes me at times.  I am definitely a pleasure-seeking hedonist who struggles when the going gets tough!  But I’m working on it … which is why in the last two weeks I’ve been staying up far too late to read ‘How to be happy’ (the book of the BBC series ‘Making Slough Happy’ and now, Tal Ben-Shahar’s ‘Happier’.  The first two in a pile of at least 10 books on happiness that somehow found their way into my Amazon shopping basket in a moment of excitement and are now looming large on my credit card bill!  Uh oh!  Except it’ll all be worth it if I find the answer, won’t it?!

And I am actually learning loads.  Like did you know that being happy is proven to make you healthier and more successful, in all aspects of life?  Like the fact that, once you can afford to feed, clothe and house yourself, money doesn’t actually buy you happiness … whereas loving relationships and meaningful, enjoyable work can really help.  So much of it is common sense, and yet it’s easy to lose sight of the obvious when we’re overwhelmed with day-to-day responsibilities.  I am determined to slow down a bit, enjoy each moment more and count my blessings!  So apologies in advance if I start sounding a bit Pollyanna-esque!

Back to work.  What is it I’m doing again?  Oh yes, setting up a business.  It all seems strangely, scarily quiet at the moment.  The designers and developers are busy on other projects and I’ve got a horrible feeling that we’re not going to hit the deadlines I was aiming for.  Part of me is all set to get annoyed, and part of me is just thinking ‘Oh well, que sera sera …’ (or however you spell it!).  After all, stressing won’t make it happen any faster.  And in the meantime I’ve got plenty to be getting on with, like writing all the content for the static pages of the website, which is no mean feat.  Hence the other book on my bedside table: ‘Killer web content’ by Gerry McGovern.  Yes, I know, my poor partner doesn’t get a look in!  But it’s really good.  I particularly like the photo of rotting fruit in a fruit bowl, which is meant to remind you to keep the content of your website fresh and up-to-date!  A lovely image to go to sleep on. 

Anyway, according to Gerry I need to work out my target audience’s ‘carewords’ – that is, the words that will really grab their attention and drive them to do whatever it is I want them to do.  Apparently, Fortune magazine used to publish a supplement called ‘Better Plans for Retirement’.  When they changed the headline to ‘Retire Rich’, they saw a massive jump in sales making that issue the most successful in the company’s history … and beautifully desmontrating the power of carewords.  Which reminds me, is ‘grow’ a word that appeals to women but not to men?  Any thoughts?

Phew!

All I can say is that I’m breathing a huge sigh of relief that last week is over!  (And yes, I do realise we’re already nearly halfway through this week – scary!)  So much for all my plans of getting glammed up and swanning into London for the various Enterprise Week events … I was far too busy mopping up sick and wiping bottoms instead!  Both our little ones were struck down with yet another tummy bug, and the nanny was due to fly off to Prague at the weekend.  Much as I would have loved to, I didn’t really feel I could expect her to work, just in case it ruined her trip and she never forgave me and I got blacklisted as the worst employer ever, that kind of thing.  I am a great believer in karma.  So there I was back on mummy duty and loving every minute of it, as I’m sure you can imagine!  But every cloud has a silver lining and, if nothing else, it renewed my enthusiasm for work!

And I can still say that having just spent hours trying to send a simple email newsletter.  How big a deal can that be?  It seems it’s quite straightforward if you don’t mind it looking rubbish and not being personalised at all, but as soon as you want to mail merge fields and give it some kind of design presence, it all goes to pot.  Or at least mine did!  So if by any chance you’re reading this having received one, I’m sorry, it should’ve had your name in.  Oh well, next time …

A busy week …

Do you know, I could be out every night this week at one ‘Enterprise Week’ event or another! There’s all sorts going on, most of which looks really interesting.

Microsoft are holding an event called ‘Ideas that can change the world’ at their offices on Monday 13th November. Striding Out are organising a ‘Be more’ dinner for women in enterprise on Wednesday 14th, then an event called ‘The future face of social business’ on Thursday 15th, which is followed by an ‘Inspiring Entrepreneurs‘ ‘do’ at the British Library. All in all, it seems that the people organising Enterprise Week have done a great job this year. Just wish our nanny hadn’t changed her days because now I’ve got to find someone to look after the little ones on Thursday. I feel a grovelly call to my mum or mother-in-law coming on!

Am definitely contemplating signing up to the Striding Out network, but am slightly put off by the fact that I’d apparently now have to join Branching Out, which is for their older members (those in their thirties or beyond!). Boy does that make me feel old! I would obviously also have to have a makeover first, as most of their members look extremely glamorous. They obviously get a few minutes to themselves to paint their nails and put their mascara on, and I suspect their sleepless nights, if they have any, are for a very different reason to mine! But hey, I’ve been there, albeit a long time ago, and this is just a different ’season’ in my life. Late summer verging on autumn, I guess!

Oh bobbins!

As you can tell, I am having to watch my language these days, as my littlest has this scary habit of tuning into every last word I say and then repeating it back out of the blue a bit later on, generally to an audience! And she’s only just learnt to talk! So that’s why “oh bo***cks” has had to become “oh bobbins”, and even that sounds naughty the way she says it!

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I think I’ve messed up! I asked someone I really respect for business advice … and got it … and now I don’t know what to do with it. I wish I’d spoken to him three months ago, when things could have been changed a lot more easily.  As things stand the design templates are about to wing their way over to the technical developers and a good few people are going to be mightily fed up with me if I start back-tracking now.  And, of course, there’s always the dilemma over who to trust – an expert … or my own gut instinct?! Am I just having a bit of a wobble and really what I need to do is stick to my guns, or is it better to rock the boat with a re-think now rather than being forced to do it later, once the whole thing’s up and running? Oh bobbins, who knows?!

As you can imagine, I didn’t sleep much last night, and ran straight to Starbucks this morning with my trusty notepad, hoping for clarity to come with my coffee! Of course that didn’t happen, but instead I bumped into my favourite Starbucks friend and had a lovely inspirational conversation that set me up for the day. Made me realise that sometimes it’s the simplest things that can make you happy, and when you connect with someone who’s on the same wavelength as you it’s a really good feeling. I need to do it more often. For now, though, it’s back to tearing my hair out!

Think I’ve just microwaved my brain!

My mobile ‘phone is hot hot hot, and so is the side of my face! Over two hours talking to the web designer and I’m feeling seriously fried! Shame I haven’t yet managed to set up my new Parrot Minikit speaker thingummyjiggy so that I can chat hands-free. All this new technology is proving to be a project in itself.

Anyway, have now been through all the various design templates for the website with a fine toothcomb and so hopefully, by tomorrow, they’ll be on their way to the techie people to start the build. It’s gradually gradually taking shape … and I have to admit I’m starting to get excited. I even wake up at night and wish I could get up and work!

But the main reason for writing this right now is because I’ve just discovered two great new websites. The first is going to cost me a fortune because it’s chockablock with things my little ones would LOVE for Christmas! Have a look at Tish Tash Toys and you’ll see what I mean. And, if you’re a mum looking for flexible family-friendly work, you might want to consider becoming one of their agents? The second is really interesting because it’s the social networking site for social entrepreneurs – UnLtdWorld. You can only access the tour at the moment as it’s in closed beta testing, but you can sign up to go on the waiting list!

Must go now as I’ve got jammie dodgers waiting to sustain me through this afternoon’s activity – drafting all the automated responses for the website. Bought three packets for a pound this morning, and think I’m going to need them …

The big vision …

My second post for today, must be on a (blog) roll! (Sorry!) Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I’ve found my big vision, my biggest and best one yet! I have to say that I’ve always been pretty good at doing that whole ‘dreaming your future’ thing – my problems arise when it comes to deciding which dream to pursue and how to actually make it happen. I’m one of those people who lives an amazing life inside my head and a rather more ordinary one in reality! Anyone else do that?

This tendency of mine to prefer a ‘head in the clouds’ type existence is one of the reasons I’ve just done a mindfulness meditation course. I wanted something to help me be more present and to live in the moment rather than always on fast-forward or rewind. I have to say it was great and, despite not having done nearly as much practice as I meant to, I’ve noticed a difference already. For a start, I’m seeing raisins in a whole new light! Try eating them one at a time, mindfully, rather than chucking them down your neck in handfuls – it’s amazing. Every single raisin tastes different. Give it a go …

Anyway, I don’t quite know how I came about this new vision of mine, but it seems to have gradually taken shape through a series of scrappy mindmaps drawn in my notebook in … you’ve guessed it … Starbucks! For the first time ever I can see how lots of the various ideas and projects I’ve wanted to pursue can all fit together under one overarching aim. And I feel as if I’ve discovered my purpose. Sounds naff, I know, but it’s supposed to be one of the keys to happiness so who cares?!

Been reading a really inspiring book by Fiona Harrold (the well respected life coach) called ‘The 7 Rules of Success’. In case you’re interested, they are (according to her):

• be passionate
• practise self-belief
• do more!
• take more risks
• inspire others
• persevere
• be generous

It’s well worth getting hold of the book as she gives lots of real life case studies and has obviously talked to and worked with all kinds of hugely successful people. Now that I’ve got my vision, I’m hoping to be featured as a success story in her next book! But first of all, excuse me whilst I crack on. I’ve got to do more!

Enterprising women …

Got invited to a ‘do’ the other night! Not quite sure who invited me, but I thought I might as well go anyway. Where? To the ‘Celebrating Enterprising Women’ event run by Finance South East to celebrate the end of their ‘Funding Enterprising Women’ programme. It started out as one of those fairly horrific scenarios with lots of people milling around the room supposedly ‘networking’, whilst also trying to carry a cup of coffee, a piece of cake, a handbag and a laptop bag! I didn’t know a single soul and didn’t particularly feel like meeting anyone … so spent quite a while studying the various bits of literature on offer! Interestingly enough, I then joined a workshop all about the importance of networking, only to find that most of the other women there felt exactly like me. We all had plenty of ideas as to how networking needs to change in order to become less intimidating and more useful to us, like perhaps, to start with, calling it something different! Maybe we should just have ‘coffee mornings’, rather than networking breakfasts, lunches and dinners? After all, there’s nothing worse than trying to elegantly combine talking and eating! I guess that’s the idea behind Ladies who Latte and the Athena Network’s Cappuccino Connections. Must try them out one of these days, instead of always sloping off to Starbucks by myself!

Having said that, Starbucks is fast becoming my own little sanctuary. Went there with my littlest one yesterday afternoon after a night of no sleep and a day of tantrums, hers and mine. With tear-stained faces we made our way in there, ordered a grande decaf americano for me and a giant chocolate chunk cookie for both of us (or at least, so I thought at the time!) and then collapsed into two big velvet armchairs in a dark and cosy corner. And hallelujah, the day was saved!

Tough one …

Tough old week, that is! Just as I thought I was actually starting to recover from this pesky postnatal illness that’s been hanging over me for the past, oooh, 15 months or so, it’s suddenly come back and bitten me on the bum again! Triggered, of course, by the fact that both my little ones have been poorly … for the umpteenth time, or so it seems. Came back from meeting a friend last night, having had a good old catch-up, only to find that my youngest had thrown up everywhere and was being sponged down in the bath. Not a nice sight. And, of course, it meant that I didn’t get any sleep at all and am feeling distinctly bleary-eyed and down-at-heel today. Hey ho. I guess it’s just one of those things that happens – part of motherhood, life, etc, etc. But when I think about the responsibility of having to deal with stuff like that for the next umpteen years, I really really want to run. All I can say is thank heavens for the nanny, she’s worth her weight in gold. Come to mention it, she probably costs more than her weight in gold! But she means that I can at least walk out the door for a little while, and concentrating on business helps calm me down. So Mummo is making me happier already, and that’s what it’s all about. Don’t know who’s out there reading this, if anyone, but if you’re a mum go and check it out: www.mummo.co.uk. You can register interest now even though the full website won’t be live for a couple of months – that way I can keep you up to speed with what’s going on.

In the meantime, who’s been watching Strictly Come Dancing? I absolutely LOVE that show. It’s definitely a dose of escapism … into a world of passion, romance, satin, sequins and sexy strutting, twirling, whirling, demon dancers. They’ve really upped the ante with the women this year and I’m just wishing I could be one of them.

Anyway, as for business, I’m just debating over the colours for the logo and putting my PR and marketing strategy together.  The big decisions for today are Rubine Red vs Rhodamine Red, do I need letterheaded paper and should a community blog have its own blogroll?!  Answers on a postcard please …

Bits and pieces

Guess what, slowly but surely it feels as if things are starting to take shape. There’s a holding page on the website now – www.mummo.co.uk – and a few people have even registered their details! Including one mum I just happened to get chatting to in the park. I’m so thrilled that she actually remembered the web address and was interested enough to have a look, seems like a really good sign. Word of mouth is definitely the way this is going to work, and I’m going to have to overcome any shyness and just put myself ‘out there’!

Should be getting to see the second wet proof for the logo colours this afternoon. There was a bit of a problem with the first one and what should have been a lovely vibrant pinky-red with a subtle shade of silver turned out a horrible bright red and dull dull grey! Looked like an 80s boy’s bedroom! The designers were mystified, the printers were mystified, Pantone in America were mystified … and I was just inclined to choose a different colour and get on with it. But apparently, for whatever reason, this new wet proof is much better so hopefully we’ll be able to finalise the stationery and send some stuff to print. And then I might finally be able to start giving out professional-looking business cards and spreading the word in earnest. Although, having said that, there’s only so much I can talk about something that doesn’t really exist yet, and a holding page isn’t going to hold anyone’s attention for long!

As for the rest of the website, well, I’ve been working with the designers to agree some of the templates that will determine the overall look and feel of the site. Once we’ve sorted these out, they’ll be passed across to the ‘techie’ people who’ll begin building the thing. It’s a long slow process but I’m really pleased with what’s been done so far.

So, as I mentioned a couple of blogs ago, the only downside recently has been finding out that I didn’t get an award from UnLtd (www.unltd.org.uk), the organisation that supports social entrepreneurs. I’ve asked for some feedback but haven’t heard back yet – all they’ve told me so far, in the rejection letter, is that competition was really tough. Guess they were just trying to soften the blow, but I think I deserve a little more detail after all the effort that went into the application process. Have to say, though, that there are probably other people who need the money and support from UnLtd more than I do. After all, they’re working with lots of refugees who really have nothing and no way of getting a bank loan or anything like that. So, whilst I’m disappointed, I guess I’m not downhearted. If anything, it’s just made me even more determined to make this a big success!

And finally for today’s ‘bits and pieces’ blog, have you by any chance been watching ‘Millionaire’s Mission‘ on Channel 4 ? I have, and it’s been fascinating. Entrepreneurs worth millions and millions are actually, in many ways, quite ordinary. And yet, some of them, also quite extraordinary! I was so impressed with the ‘Teach Inn Uganda‘ project that Seb, Deirdre and Tony set up – if I didn’t have two small children I’d be off out there like a shot! Then again, thinking about it, perhaps I should take them with me??? And do a Mummo.co.uganda?!! Now there’s an idea …

I’m out the door …

No, really, I am, in just a couple of minutes! I’m on bathtime bedtime duty tonight, so must be home and switched into “mummy mode” for 6 pm. Which means this is a bit of a rushed one, just to let you know where I’m up to. The truth of the matter is I haven’t got much done today at all. It’s been one of those days when my mind has been jumping from place to place to place, I’ve ignored my ‘To do’ list and spent far too long faffing around trying to order a new mobile phone! Am starting to feel completely out of touch with all this new technology – GPRS, EDGE, 3G, HSDPA … blah blah blah, etc etc. Do I really need it, or am I just a marketeer’s dream?

Perhaps what I should be doing really is practising some of what I’ve preached in my former life as a trainer? Time management – get clear on your priorities, put first things first, don’t procrastinate – JDI! Anyway, tomorrow is another day, so I’m going to start it by doing something pleasant (a coffee in Starbucks) to get myself going and give myself a sense of achievement, and then follow it by doing the task I’m most dreading (finishing off the numbers in my business plan). I’ll let you know how it goes …