What I had for lunch (there is a point in telling you, honest!)

Okay, I’m back from my lunch break (admittedly a long one!) and I have to tell you what I had! Why? Well, because it was different to normal. I would usually have a cheese and tomato sandwich, maybe a few crisps, some fruit and perhaps, as a treat, a chocolate orange cookie. Today, I had breakfast omelettes with baked beans, tomato and mushrooms. That’s all. Hmmm. Not much in the way of carbohydrate I don’t think (although I guess baked beans might have some, and possibly eggs?). No gluten. But more to the point, and worse, much worse … no sugar! I am on a no sugar diet and it’s killing me!

So why am I doing it? I’m one of those people who’s always thought that life’s too short to be miserable about food. I had a friend at university who used to eat nothing but cucumber slivers on ryvita, whilst I was busy wrapping my mouth around a giant Hula Hoop sandwich … with white bread and mayonnaise! Now before you start jumping up and down and saying “it’s alright for you, you obviously never put on weight!”, I’d just like to assure you that I am carrying a serious amount of extra flesh around my middle, and am still wearing a size bigger than I used to wear pre-children (and my youngest is heading for 3!). I would like to lose my muffin top, but that’s not why I’m doing this diet. I’m doing it in the hope that it will sort out my postnatal illness, not to mention the PMS that’s been the bane of my life, once and for all!

You see, having turned down the anti-depressants and tried the hormone treatment, I’m now trying the Dr Marilyn Glenville approach. She’s a nutritionist who specialises in taking a natural approach to female hormone health and I went to her clinic last week. As a weird kind of coincidence, I then picked up her book ‘Natural Solutions to PMS‘ for next-to-nothing at the Windsor Golden Egg Festival at the weekend. I am learning SO much from reading it. If only I’d discovered it years ago. Anyway, in a nutshell, Dr Glenville believes that fluctuations in blood sugar levels are at the root of PMS, and here’s why:

• When you have high levels of glucose in your blood (eg. after eating a meal) your body takes what it needs for energy and then produces insulin from the pancreas in an attempt to reduce the excess. Insulin transports glucose into the cells and the glucose that isn’t used is changed into glycogen and stored in the liver and muscles to be used later. When glycogen levels are filled in the liver and muscles, the excess is stored as fat.
• When your blood glucose levels fall too low (eg. if you haven’t eaten for ages), the pancreas produces glucagon, which works in the opposite way to insulin by encouraging the liver to convert some of its glycogen stores into glucose to give us quick energy. However, the body also produces adrenaline - a hormone normally released when we are under stress. This means that we feel stressed.
• Adrenaline also has the effect of ‘blocking’ progesterone from being effectively utilised by the body. So even though your progesterone levels may be fine, your body isn’t able to use it properly.
• Studies apparently show that women with PMS don’t have different glucose levels to women without PMS, but they do eat more sugar, refined carbs and dairy products (and yes, I’ll admit that that was true of me!). It could be argued that PMS causes women to crave sugar, cakes and other ‘instant boost’ foods. Dr Glenville argues that it’s the other way round: eating sweets and biscuits causes changes in blood sugar levels, which then cause adrenaline to be released, which in turn interferes with the proper use of hormones (particularly progesterone) which then triggers PMS.

So I am now on strict instructions to cut out sugar, dairy, caffeine and alcohol, eat loads of oily fish, let nothing but brown bread, rice and pasta pass my lips and take a whole bunch of supplements as well. I am officially a guinea pig, with pretty much a guinea pig’s diet! I’ll keep you posted and let you know if it works. At the moment, after not being able to have birthday cakes in the office today, I’m questioning whether hormone hell is preferable to life without chocolate! Which would you go for?

All is not what it seems …

I was talking to a friend yesterday and she asked me how I was. “You seem really calm and relaxed and on top of things”, she said! She’s a good friend, so she knows a fair bit about how I’ve been feeling with all this postnatal illness malarkey. And I realised once again that there can be this huge gulf between what something looks like on the surface … and what’s actually going on underneath! How many mums out there are putting on a brave face along with their lipstick and pretending that everything’s fine, when actually it isn’t? Alternatively, how many mums have developed a coping strategy that involves switching off a certain part of their brain (and identity?) until the time comes when they can start to live their own lives again? Because a big part of motherhood, it seems to me, is about giving yourself up to these little people you’ve spawned! There’s a great quote by the American feminist thinker and writer, Elizabeth Stone:

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”

I wish I’d read that before I’d had children, it might have given me a bit more insight into what it’d really be like. Because that sums it up for me. There’s nothing I can ever do now without factoring my children into the equation. They matter more than me, and that’s the top and bottom of it. Yet coming to terms with that, after all those years of freedom and fun, has been a struggle to put it mildly. Throw hormones and chemical imbalances into the mix and … aaaaagh!

I guess what I’m really saying is that it’s important for all of us to go beyond face value and tune into what might be going on under the surface. So many people these day seem to put on a front … and no-one knows that anything’s wrong until they have a major meltdown. I wonder why it still seems to be so difficult to admit weakness and show vulnerability? The first time I admitted to postnatal illness, I was terrified. But you wouldn’t believe how it’s opened the floodgates. It’s as if, once one person stops pretending, it becomes easier for other people to do the same. And, when you see each other clearly, that’s when you can really begin to connect, communicate and experience compassion. I hope that people feel they can be honest on Mummo.

Yet, there is definitely a place for pretence. I’d be one of the first to say “act as if”. If you don’t feel confident, don’t worry, just “act as if” you did! If you don’t feel happy, don’t despair, just “act as if” you did! And I genuinely believe that behaving in a certain way can change how you feel. You know those days when you feel rubbish and don’t want to go out or see anyone, at all, ever again, but you’ve got a commitment so you do … and then you end up having a really good time and coming home feeling a whole lot better. It’s that principle. And it works. Within reason.

So that’s it. End of sermon. Sorry for getting so heavy so early in the week. More ‘froth’ next time, I promise.  For now, I’m off to do my lippie!

Tough one …

Tough old week, that is! Just as I thought I was actually starting to recover from this pesky postnatal illness that’s been hanging over me for the past, oooh, 15 months or so, it’s suddenly come back and bitten me on the bum again! Triggered, of course, by the fact that both my little ones have been poorly … for the umpteenth time, or so it seems. Came back from meeting a friend last night, having had a good old catch-up, only to find that my youngest had thrown up everywhere and was being sponged down in the bath. Not a nice sight. And, of course, it meant that I didn’t get any sleep at all and am feeling distinctly bleary-eyed and down-at-heel today. Hey ho. I guess it’s just one of those things that happens - part of motherhood, life, etc, etc. But when I think about the responsibility of having to deal with stuff like that for the next umpteen years, I really really want to run. All I can say is thank heavens for the nanny, she’s worth her weight in gold. Come to mention it, she probably costs more than her weight in gold! But she means that I can at least walk out the door for a little while, and concentrating on business helps calm me down. So Mummo is making me happier already, and that’s what it’s all about. Don’t know who’s out there reading this, if anyone, but if you’re a mum go and check it out: www.mummo.co.uk. You can register interest now even though the full website won’t be live for a couple of months - that way I can keep you up to speed with what’s going on.

In the meantime, who’s been watching Strictly Come Dancing? I absolutely LOVE that show. It’s definitely a dose of escapism … into a world of passion, romance, satin, sequins and sexy strutting, twirling, whirling, demon dancers. They’ve really upped the ante with the women this year and I’m just wishing I could be one of them.

Anyway, as for business, I’m just debating over the colours for the logo and putting my PR and marketing strategy together.  The big decisions for today are Rubine Red vs Rhodamine Red, do I need letterheaded paper and should a community blog have its own blogroll?!  Answers on a postcard please …